Aging Parents Refusing Assistance

Posted byJamie Posted in
Posted on Sep 14, 2020

It is difficult to approach the subject of assistance for your elderly parents. The best way to approach the subject is by increasing communication and observing their daily activities. What can they do efficiently themselves? What activities are most challenging for them?

The more familiar you are with your loved one’s strengths and weaknesses the better prepared you are to identify the best way to offer assistance. Conflicts can be avoided through proper communication. Every word has meaning and can be taken defensively. When that happens, it puts a wedge into continued conversation. Avoid emphasizing your loved one’s weaknesses and forbidding them from doing certain activities. Each person places different value on qualities like respect, self-reliance, and a sense of purpose. A better approach is to appeal to the values that matter most to your parent and stress your desire to enable them to maintain and enjoy what independence they still have.

Try not to tell your loved one they are “too old to drive”. Instead offer to drive them to appointments so you can spend the day together. Our loved ones can be stubborn and often need to learn for themselves how difficult it can be on their own alone until they are no longer able to do so. If your parent starts to lose quality of life and their safety is in jeopardy, you may have to intervene legally.

It is difficult to admit you are getting older and need assistance. Your parent may feel like they are losing control of their life and are not as valuable to you. If you can preserve their dignity with respect and offer assistance with their limitations it becomes a win for everyone.

Having someone come into your home to assist with personal hygiene, meal preparation, transportation, errands, and other daily living activities can be supported through a home care service, such as Comforts of Home.

Call (936) 647-0674 or email


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